Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
