i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
