I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm just crazy horny about you
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
