If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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