I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
