I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
