So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
