Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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