Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
