I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Randomize
