you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
