I look better un-naked...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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