I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
