you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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