I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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