Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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