you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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