I will die if light touches me.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
