You can't motorboat a personality
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
