You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
