be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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