DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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