i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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