I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize