her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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