and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
