how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
