new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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