I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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