I wannas sexs uuuuu
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
