he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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