im about as happy as oj after his trial
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
