I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
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Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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