Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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