All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Even my vagina gasped.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
