WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
