using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
