you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
