one might say we're banned from that church
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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