The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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