i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
