I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
