the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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