God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
