i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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