His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
