I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize