Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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