Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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