...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
