so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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