do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
