38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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