I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
3 2 1 whiskey
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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