You're so nebulous sometimes
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
