i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
