haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
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I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
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When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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